Why Is It So Hard to Get a Girl’s Phone Number

Getting women’s phone Numbers is not such a great achievement, but yet many men consider it as very important, and guys would often compare each other’s success with women by the amount of phone numbers each of them got from girls.

First, I personally don’t believe that getting a girl’s phone gives much information about her interest in you. It doesn’t even mean that you are going to have a date – in fact, there is a good chance that she isn’t even going to answer your calls. It all depends on the interaction you had.

However, getting a girl’s number is yet a step forward, and it’s indeed the only conventional way to continue an interaction with a girl you’ve randomly met.

You see, it doesn’t matter how funny and smart you were with a girl – if you don’t get her phone number, odds are that you’re not going to see her again.

Attraction Takes Time For Women

I’ve recently written a post on the topic of attraction – and the main idea is that women and men have different attraction mechanisms, i.e. we are attracted to different things.

Have you noticed what makes women attractive to you? Is it the beautiful face? The size of her breasts? Her cleavage? Her butt? Anyway, the idea is that men are mainly attracted to a woman’s physical looks. That’s how we are biologically designed.

But women are different. Of course, having a beautiful face might get a girl to notice you, but all the studies in psychology, and also the experience of many men, show that women are mainly attracted to a man’s behavior.

What kind of behavior? Women are attracted to masculine traits and qualities in men. These are qualities such as strength, leaderships, social skills, and many others.

This article is not really about attraction, but what you need to understand here is that you might get attracted to a girl within seconds, simply based on her looks.

But women – they need much more time. A girl will rarely know that she wants to meet you again after seconds. Women need time to feel if they are attracted to you or not.

That’s why asking for a girl’s number too soon means that she’s going to reject you. It’s as simple as that.

So give her enough time (at least 10 minutes), to get to know you first, before you ask for her number.

The Importance of Showing Interest

There is a common belief among guys, that in order to get a girl to want you, you need to show her no interest at all.

Now, while it might be a good tactic not to show interest immediately when you approach a girl, it’s a bad idea not to show any interest at all.

Think about a woman’s point of view – a guy, who was pretty funny and interesting, doesn’t seem to show any interest in her, and yet he asks for her number. That might mean either:

“He’s desperate and therefore will date any girl, even if he doesn’t like her.”

“He only wants to have sex, because it’s probably the only thing that he likes about me…”

So a girl would think you’re either desperate, or that you only want to have sex with her. Both options are not very good for you.

Instead, you should tell a girl that you like her, and show interest in her. I know the reason that you like her is probably her looks, but you should better find something deeper in her. It might be something that she did or said during the interaction.

You might say “Wow, I can’t believe you play piano. I love girls with musical talents.”

Make it sound sincere and genuine. Women love to get compliments, especially if they aren’t about their looks.

Being Specific – The Number is Only a Bridge

My experience in picking up women has shown me that girls have some objection to giving their phone number to guys. There is no real explanation to that, but because so many men as for her phone number in awkward ways, she developed an immediate “no” answer to that.

What I’ve personally used very successfully is not to ask for her number directly. Instead, ask her to go on a date with you, or even better – “go out to drink some beer/wine”. Women tend to have fewer objections to these offers.

The model of such a conversation would sound like this:

You: “Wow, I love that fact that you volunteer for Green Peace. I love women who believe in strong values…. By the way, what are you doing Tuesday night?”

She: “Emmmm, Nothing specific… why?

You: “Well, I have a plan – why don’t we go out and drink some beer on Tuesday night?”

She: “OK, cool”.

That’s it. Now because you already have a date, getting her number is a piece of cake. Just ask for her number and you’ll get it.



Source by Tom Slavoda