“Super Sexy Science” Grad Student Rap

Super Sexy Science, by Abe
(Abe Davis, PhD Candidate, MIT)

—–Lyrics—–
I’ve done the numbers and the data’s conclusive
I’ve thought about it a lot
We derived an equation then used it
And our experiments were hot

So come on girl let’s get started
cause the truth waits for no man
I’ma find the secrets of your body
and lay you out like a research plan

[Chorus:]
—
super sexy science
its good to be a scientist
I apply my mind to this
sexiness hypothesis

answer all the questions
the truth is my obsession
and you are what I’m testing tonight
—

Yea girl you’re a catalyst
so I’ma take you to my lab and break it down like this
our chemistry’s so strong it’s gettin hard to miss
cause girl you tigher than the bonds of a nucleus

yea you’re more fun
than a soldering gun
but put the two together
and it’s better than one

you bet
that the way you pipet
makes me think that that solution
aint the only thing wet

so I submit to you
for peer review
and hope that you’ll submit
a little bit to me too.

because you know that theories changes from time to time
but our experiments will show that love is double blind

A Bayesian analysis
of you given me
is statistically suggestive
of a whole lot of heat
–when I strip ya–
down to first principles
you know where we’ll be
makin sweet love conclusions
in the laboratory

[Chorus]

beakers n hose
beakers n hose
you know it’s always sexy
when our hands are on those
you’re so exothermic
I’m about to explode
but (DAY-UM)
I look good in a lab coat

I’m cited in journals
I’m cited online
I’m cited on posters and
I’m cited in slides
I’m cited in texts
but maybe instead
tonight I’ll cite you
crawling into my bed

and what I want is
what I’m confessin
to fit to your curves
like polynomial regression
you can help me out
with this theory I’m testin
it involves us
and lust
and some gene expression

You can be the lesson and
I can be the learner
hotter than a bunsen yea
We’ll call your buns some burners

we’ll find us some boundaries and
we’ll push em all further
girl if you were a journal
then I would be your page turner

and I conjecture that
you’re body’s superior
through ongoing analysis
of your bayesian posterior
so let’s put my Y chromosome
next to your X
and get the sex-y on

[Chorus]

———————————-

To see some of Abe’s research, visit:
www.capertureapp.com

Twitter: @SupSexyScience

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