Jessi Klein: “I Would Like to Get Married Before I Get Herpes” - Full Special

Jessi Klein: “I Would Like to Get Married Before I Get Herpes” – Full Special

Jessi Klein shares the list of things she discloses before sex, details a discussion she had with her gynecologist about freezing her eggs and reveals some of the pickup lines guys will try on her.

Paramount+ is here! Stream all your favorite shows now on Paramount+. Try it FREE at

#CCStandUp #ComedyCentral

Original airdate: March 4, 2011

About Comedy Central Presents:

These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today’s stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.

#StandUp #JessiKlein

Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up:

Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up:

Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:

Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials:

Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement:


47 thoughts on “Jessi Klein: “I Would Like to Get Married Before I Get Herpes” – Full Special”

  1. The pig walker probably got so much negative attention toward his pigs, he eventually became preemptively negative. He just assumed you were going to criticize them too.

    After losing my keys or wallet for the 5th time in 5 years, I finally taped them to each other with 3 feet of pink and yellow duct tape. Everybody I met was annoyed by this. After a month I became so defensive that I gave a woman a dirty look before I realized her smile was not mockery like the others. She thought it was cute. I really hurt her feelings that day.

    Now I'm remembering the same thing happening 10 years early. I got a retractable keychain and attached a facehugger-array of knives around it. This was a deliberate attempt to look cool. But some many people made fun of it that, one day, I failed to detect that the goth girl asking me about it thought it was cool too. I had also recently gone bald, and was at least 5 years older than her. I thought she was going to mock the old nerd with the edgelord pretensions. My sarcastic resentful response almost made her cry. I realized too late she actually liked me on sight and loved the pocket-facehugger I'd constructed. I felt so guilty.

    So, maybe pig guy wasn't a douche. Maybe he just long ago gave up on meeting someone like you. He maybe kicked himself afterward for scaring you away.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

9 2 3 0 0 8 0 0 1 9 1 4